When we observe ourselves, we can go deep within, look at our heart and soul, delve into our shadow, explore what makes us respond in specific ways, what triggers us, what aligns with our soul, what makes us feel uncomfortable, and discover the vastness of our being.
With observation and the right questions, we can understand what we truly want, what we truly experience, and how far back a specific issue reaches. We carry problems from our past, even past lives if you believe, we have stuff from our ancestors, things we been taught by our parents, schools and outside influences. These issues may cause us depression, anger, frustration, jealousy or injustice and many more. With observation, we can go deep.
While we work on these issues, new challenges may appear, grief, shame, embarrassment, low self-esteem, and you name it. So much observation, so many things to discover and how to deal with it all.
Everything has its opposite; all the issues I named above have their opposites. Let's flip the negative into the positive, and we're done. Unfortunately, it is not quite this easy. Some more minor daily issues we can flip from negative to positive, as long as we observe the negative thought, feeling or happening. Issues we've carried for a long time take much longer to shift into a more positive perspective. When we sit in the middle of a traumatic experience, the root may go back to our childhood or even further. The trigger for the traumatic experience may be hidden from us. Or the repeat of the trauma, and we are stuck in the cycle of repetition. Observation and awareness are needed in these situations. Patience and continued effort to work through these feelings, issues, and recurring patterns are required. It takes time, oh yes, it takes time. Try not to get too hard on yourself. Be honest with yourself and acknowledge feelings, situations, and patterns that are negative and suck your energy dry.
Remember that everything has its opposite. When you feel low, this will pass, and you will feel on top of the world again. When you feel hate, you will feel love again. It takes practice, and you can speed up the process by observing and becoming aware, and by consciously working on your patterns and negative feelings.
2025 in numerology is a year nine, a year of endings, leaving behind old patterns and habits. We can consciously end old cycles and move into 2026, a year 1 of new beginnings. But it is not quite as cut and dry; the energies are shifting, for some faster and for some slower. Think about it, the year of the Snake is all about transformation, shedding your skin to renew yourself and moving into the year of the Horse, a power animal, movement and taking the changes we made forward into new experiences with hard work. With Chinese New Year not falling on the first of January, we have a bit more time to finish old cycles and clean out the past.
Change happens gradually, not overnight. Old patterns, feelings, and emotions shift gradually; we cannot cut feelings off, so I sometimes feel like some people can.
How do I work with all this negativity inside myself? I have been spending 2025 deeply searching my soul for answers on how to heal old wounds, traumatic experiences and old destructive patterns. I had been in a narcissistic situation for about three years, and in November 2024, a sudden, abrupt divine intervention happened, which got me out of the problem. The situation was gone, I was free, but not really free. I felt my own thoughts torment me; I could not let go of injustice, grief, hurt, pain, and the anger and betrayal I felt were just not me. I questioned, why did this happen to me, why do I not get answers, why could anyone be so cruel and hurt another being? How could I fall for it? And I had thousands of questions but no answers. I had to dig deep and turn things around. I worked hard on this with every tool I had. The fact is, I worked on myself even during the traumatic experience and felt the divine intervention was a gift to finally stop the situation. But as we all know, grief is not going away overnight. Challenges still come and test us, and we have to continue our work.
Over the next few blog posts, I will share with you how I bring together the many tools I have learned to help me through challenging times. I do not give medical advice. If you are feeling physically ill or find it too hard to cope, PLEASE seek medical advice. Join victim support groups, seek counselling, and talk to your medical doctor.
One of the things I use is music, listening to music while talking to myself, walking myself through all my emotions with total honesty. I acknowledge and accept myself for what I feel. If I feel anger, hate, or even rage, I take these feelings, recognise that they are there, and tell them, I will put them aside for now. A bit later, I suggest these feelings that I put them into a lovely, cosy basket and send them off into the universe, where the divine will take care of them. Sometimes, in the end, I write these feelings down, forgive them, and then burn them and let go. These rituals I may do daily for a few days. I come back if they rear their ugly heads again, and I work on it until they fade.
Trauma that may stem from a long time ago that got triggered through a traumatic time in the present takes a long time to fade. I will be honest with you, it can be hard work, and it does take time and patience with yourself. What I have noticed is that the triggers or challenges we face may have many roots: issues that happened not long ago, things from the distant past, even further back, karma we bring into this world, or anything else. This can make it all more confusing and challenging to work through.
Because this year is one of endings, I have chosen specific issues I want to work through and let go of for good. And this may mean other issues, less critical right now, get sorted through the next nine-year cycle or other ending cycles. From New Moon to the next New Moon can be a cycle. Monday to Friday can be a cycle, one month to the next month, or each new year you can use as a new cycle and a new beginning. In fact, every day you have the choice to make changes and have new beginnings; it all lies in your perception.
Here are three links to the favourite music channels I use for healing: Luminayan Portal , The Quantum, and The Tao Wind
Astrology can also give clues about what is going on in our lives, and how or why we may get from looking into it. I will write a post with ideas that help us go deeper, become more observant and aware. Things that help us better understand ourselves and situations.
Photograph by Barbara Schar Orchides at the flower festival in Thailand
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